Hello Devine Friend,
Today I'd like to talk about New Year's resolutions. I know this may sound a bit cliché but yes I'm going through with it and guess what? I've never made New Year's resolutions in my life!
I might have added 'things' to my 'wish list' for the year but nothing that I resolved to do.
Before I share my resolutions with you let me quickly say this:
There's a huge difference between wishing for things and resolving to do things.
A wish is something we make lightly to possibly protect ourselves from disappointment in case it doesn't happen or we fail to achieve it.
Whereas a resolution is something which, at the back of our minds we know that we need to make it happen no matter what.
This means, unlike a wish, we approach a resolution with a plan of action to help us achieve our goal.
Now I'm not saying the latter is guaranteed to happen but I'm saying when approached with a road map chances are no matter how many times we stray off the road we can still see where we're headed and therefore have the ability to refocus and get back on track towards our goal.
So my New Year's resolutions are:
1. Get my physical body healthy.
The reality is, I'm not getting any younger and this is the only temple I have so I need to look after it. My road map includes, going to the gym 3-4 times a week.
(I haven't had a gym membership for nearly 7 year!!!) so in preparations of this resolution I signed up with my local gym.
2. I'm going to write a book.
A little while ago I completed Masters degree in Writing. The course was really a vehicle that made it possible for me to emerge from a dark place of loss and grieving.
I won't get into that topic today but through writing and exchanging ideas with writing peers I discovered so much about myself and the world around me. And although I produced a manuscript for my final thesis, I think it's only now that I feel ready to pen my story-our stories down.
And the road map for this one is going to be a bit gentle. Like many, I'm also time poor but I'm going to start small. I'll be lying if I said I will write everyday, however I will jot down ideas and thoughts as they come to me everyday and set aside time to write on Sunday mornings. During this time I will correlate my weekly ideas and write as little or as much as I can.
3. I want to earn a living doing what I love and making a difference along the path.
This one is a little challenging and I had to stop for a minute and really think about it. Will I quit my day job - I cannot deny nor can I confirm but what I know for sure is that my intention is sent out to the universe. And all I have to do is work on my inner self through mindful-mindset so that my energy can vibrate at the right frequency to attract the places I need to be and people I need to be with.
You see the road map for this one is not external because I'm not responsible for other people's actions but my own so if I'm going to improve anything in my life it has to begin with me.
And those are my New Year's resolutions which I believe are realistic and achievable.
Now I need to show up everyday ready for the challenge.
Thanks for stopping by and see you real soon!
Don't forget to comment below, I'd love to hear about your New Year's resolutions and how you're planning to achieve them. What are your goals and road maps to get you there.
Have a happy day!
love and Light.
Devine Friend, the other day I had one of the saddest day. I tried in many ways to divert my focus but my emotions kept beckoning me to be 'here now'.
In our daily persuit of happiness and joyous lifestyles it's equally important to acknowledge when the universe tells us to take a pause to be where we are fully.
So I stopped and listened and I'm so glad I did. You see motherhood is an incredibly important part of who I am and the thought of my family brings up an instant lump in my throat. So while at my day job where I work as a Costumer on a TV drama, I happened to be on set to shoot a scene where a pregnant mother looses her baby to Placenta Abruptio, the very 'thing' that claimed our silent angel, Val Neo.
After the scene the sadness settled heavily upon me and together with the Actor portraying the grieving mother we were twined in this incredible moment of knowing.
A lot lot of people at my day job don't know this part of my story because it's not an easy subject to 'chat' about. But that's okay because every now and then the right person comes along and the sharing channel opens up and with each conversation no matter how petite or major I'm reminded that the sadness is not mine alone, that so many mothers and their families live with this lonely pain.
From this moment onward I vow to open myself up to all sharing opportunities because my sadness is as necessary as my happiness.
Today I encourage you spare a kind thought, a prayer or a quiet moment for the families who need to embrace the sadness of their grief.
Have a happy day!
Spirituality is a personal topic that affects each of us at different times in our lives. In my opinion, I find some people that I come across are either skeptical or embarrassed to talk about spirituality. Sometimes at the mention of the word, people's thoughts may immediately venture into the realms of religion and customs. But here's what I'm learning, the ability to experience life beyond intellectual parameters is absolutely incredible. And FYI, spirituality has nothing to do with religion.
There are many principles, laws or whatever term you choose that govern our spiritual growth but for this post I chose to discuss only two: Intention and Humility. This is because I believe that whether you're at the beginning of your spiritual journey or well into it, these are some of the ones that you would always return to. To either get yourself underway or even just to boost your spiritual muscle.
"We create our reality with our Intention"
- Gary Zukav
The law of creation goes hand in hand with intention. In order to be able to create that which we desire, we need to understand the idea that is intention.
In my understanding, Intention is a non physical energy that we emanate. This energy or light (as some call it) is so powerful that it manifests into our reality, which could be love, anger, jealousy, happiness, feeling of lack, inferiority and so on. But the best thing about this is that, because this energy or intention is our own creation we have the power to alter it at anytime.
So you my Devine Friend have the ability to change that anger or feeling of lack into something positive because the energy that you send out is the one you will receive.
There are many ways to make your intentions work for you or help you reach some of your goals or purpose in life. So, if you wish to create success in your life, you need to focus your intention on success. If peace and harmony is what you desire, send that peaceful energy from within.
I'll give you an example:
When I decided to embark on my spiritual journey I started with the mother of all emotions, LOVE. My intention was and still is to create love along my path and to allow everything that I do to exist from a place of love.
I began to consciously seek love, give love and see love in everything I do. Because I spend so much time at work (a minimum of 10 hours a day) I thought, it would be wonderful to surround my area with symbols that would always remind me of my intension. So I placed little love hearts on the doors of my work area. This way, no matter what happens around me I know that my area is a safe zone that's surrounded by love and no matter how my day turns out, it is important to remember to align myself with my intention. It's almost like affirmations.
Try it, it works.
Humility means being humble or understanding your place in relation to people around you.
A Course In Miracles says, "To the ego, today's idea is the epitome of self-glorification. But the ego does not understand humility, mistaking it for self-debasement..."
Now be aware that the ego will come to play as soon as you embark on this spiritual journey towards your true self. So if someone walks into a room and starts lashing out at everyone, the ego would want to stand taller and engage in an argument to prove perhaps that you're not weak or that you're not in the wrong.
This is where you need to take a minute to realise 'the moment', once you've realised this moment make a conscious decision to call upon humility - not because you wish for self-debasement but because you know your place in relation to others. As Don Miguel Ruiz's second Agreement says, "Don't take anything personally" because what people say is a reflection of themselves. Thus the other person's lashing out is not about you.
So how will you begin to embrace your spirituality? By reading a book, going for a walk to connect with nature, by meditating or by simply being kind to yourself and other? Whichever you choose always remember you hold the power that shapes you and your world.
Have a wonderful day.
How to detox your soul without loosing your cool
Every now and then we do a health detox because we want to get rid of the toxic substances that surround us, especially in our foods like air pollution, pesticides, chemicals and so on.
This is a great exercise that requires determination, patience and a significant amount of focus.
I did a three week detox recently and by the end of it, I felt lighter, my skin was glowing (still is haha) I even lost two kilos! You see where I'm going with this.
What about your soul though? You know that non-physical and immortal part of your being. Ever think about what it would be like to cleanse it? Just like our foods, our souls are surrounded by different energies. Some are very toxic and whether we are aware or not, these energies do affect us. Sometimes when you walk into certain places or come across some people you can feel your mood and emotions change. To help keep your soul intact and on the path that positively supports your inner being a detox sounds pretty awesome.
What to avoid:
5. Trashing people's dreams
What you need:
1. An open heart
2. A quiet space (this could be anywhere-and I mean it. Just make sure it's safe)
3. An Item of inspiration or Inspo-piece (music, book, quote, whatever you like)
4. 5 to 10 minutes (more time if you can afford)
Detox plan for the next 5 to 7 days
Begin your day with gratitude.
Practice these words 'Thank you'. If you're not used to saying them, it will sound a bit silly at first but say it a few times and soon it will feel natural.
Make this your first thought when you wake up. Remember you don't need to be religious to be thankful.
I firmly believe that only when your cup is full, will you be able to share its contents. So if you don't love yourself enough, you will not be able to extend this mother of all emotions.
Start with your physical self. Look at yourself in the mirror and say 'I love you'. Again this might sound a bit weird but keep at it until you see past your ego.
After doing this exercise a few times, deep seated emotions may be evoked. Allow yourself to experience whatever comes to you. Cry, laugh, smile embrace it all.
Read a passage from your chosen book, or a quote, or play your selected piece of music. Allow the message from your inspo item to sink in. Repeat if you need to.
Carry your stillness with you and allow your stillness to carry you.
Before you tackle your busy life, begin with stillness. For 5 to 10 minutes sit in silence. This is very hard but you can do it.
Find a comfortable position on the floor, pillow or chair, try to keep your back as straight as possible. Close your eyes. Breathe through your nose slowly and deliberately until you can hear your breath. You might not feel anything at first and might get physical distractions like itchiness or drowsiness. Don't worry just keep trying and soon you'll get it.
Towards end of the day when you've been through meetings, exams, confronting situations that may rattle your soul, return to your inspo item. Read from your book, put your music on (where possible), read your quote or another related quote. This will remind you of your practice.
Have a wonderful day!
Love and Light.
Nutrition is an event that most take for granted. But if we dig in a little deeper in an effort to enhance our wellbeing it becomes clear that our eating process and habits contribute immensely to our lifestyle.
In the video above with the beautiful @luckycozz, I share with you four elements of nutrition according to TheLivingCentre.com. Beyond that, Corrie shares how Lola Berry's book, 'The 20/20 Diet' encouraged and guided her towards a healthier lifestyle.
Here are the 4 parts of Nutrition:
Eating well has the power to heal and keep our physical bodies healthy and well-balanced. I encourage you to think about the Five Major food groups when putting your meals together.
What we put inside our bodies has the ability to affect our feelings and moods. Have you noticed how you feel after eating certain foods? This could also dictate your food choices in return. You know yourself and what makes you feel good, so choose well.
Corrie told me that her ultimate dining table is filled with loved ones. This makes sense because sharing a good meal in great company would absolutely enhance your food experience. So whenever possible, share a meal with loved ones - friends, family, colleagues even if it's once a day. Because it's good for you.
4) Spiritual Nourishment:
In our eating experience, we need to acknowledge the mystery that's contained in the food. When you look into your plate, you could immediately see the basic elements of life: earth, water, air and fire. So before you dig in next time, take a moment to recognise what lies before you. Use all your senses to relish the food. This my Devine Friend, is the beginning of Mindful eating.
I would also like to briefly mention Mindful Eating (I will elaborate on this in a later post):
Mindful eating is not a diet, simply put; it is the ability to be present and aware of our eating process. Lola Berry says, "Mindfulness is nourishment".
I'm aware that most people are toying with the idea of eating too little and working out too much, in an effort to combat weight issues. Perhaps we could take a leaf out of Corrie's book, by choosing and growing (where possible) right foods and enjoying them in a fashion of gratitude.
Have a healthy day!
Love and Light.
"Where focus goes, that's where energy flows"
The idea that we could alter our current stance by simply redirecting our focus is absolutely incredible.
If you wish to understand how the power of mindset in conjunction with yoga, meditation, crystals and essential oils can help you knock down some blocks that are holding you back in life get yourself Chakra Mindset pack, which consists of:
-Personal development book.
- Daily Positive Affirmations.
(The pack is also a great gift for any occasion).
In the personal development book, Gomez explains in straight forward terms the relationship between each of the 7 main chakras and their relationship with areas of our physical and non-physical body.
Each chapter explains physical health issues that are related to each chakra and more importantly how you could work your way towards alleviating your situation whether be it a limiting thought or physical ailment.
Here's a little bit about the chakras (info courtesy of chakramindset):
The Root Chakra
The Root Chakra is located at the base of the spine; it is the energy centre that is our connection to the earth, stability and grounding. This chakra helps us feel connected to our roots. It is the centre of our survival, relationship with money, physical health and belonging; it represents our most primal survival instincts.
When the Root Chakra is balanced you have a sense of belonging, and you are safe in the knowledge that you are meant to be whom and where you are in your life.
The Sacral Chakra
The Sacral Chakra is located just below your navel. It is the centre of sensuality, relationships and desires. It rules our instinct and gut feelings as well as our emotions. It is the centre of balance that regulates our ability to give and receive. As with the Root Chakra, the Sacral Chakra is also connected to our survival instincts but extends past ourselves to include the survival needs of others in our family.
When the Sacral Chakra is balanced you express your feelings and emotions with ease, you experience a sense of pleasure and wellbeing, and are comfortable with your own sexuality and desires. You express your emotions easily.
The Solar Plexus Chakra
The Solar Plexus Chakra is located in the area above your navel. It is your centre of personal power and self-esteem. The Solar Plexus Chakra is the midway point between our spiritual and earthly aspects. It is associated with the ego and value of self and it is ruled by the conscious mind.
When the Solar Plexus Chakra is balanced you have a good level of confidence and are self-empowered. You are consciously creating your own reality and are good at manifesting what you desire. You have a good relationship with self and others and you trust your intuition and act upon your gut instincts.
The Heart Chakra
The Heart Chakra is located in the centre of your chest. The Heart Chakra is the place that unconditional love and acceptance resides for both self and others. It is your centre of compassion, empathy and tolerance.
When the Heart Chakra is balanced you have compassion and consideration for all life. You are not ruled by your ego and can give and receive love unconditionally. You are fulfilled and living an abundant life.
The Throat Chakra
The Throat Chakra is located in the throat region. The Throat Chakra is your centre of communication and expression, allowing you to be creative and speak your truth; it is about listening as well as speaking.
When the Throat Chakra is balanced you are comfortable in expressing yourself through your words and communicating without fear of judgement or criticism.
The Third Eye Chakra
The Third Eye Chakra is located in the centre of the forehead between the eyes. The Third Eye Chakra is your centre of intuition, insight and wisdom. It is the place of imagination, enlightenment and knowing, allowing us to see past limitations and gain an understanding and connection to the universe.
When the Third Eye Chakra is balanced you trust your insight and intuition and expand your awareness and consciousness to encompass all that is.
The Crown Chakra
The Crown Chakra is located at the top of the head. The Crown Chakra is our connection to the infinite source, the divine. It is our gateway to pure consciousness, and the meaning of this chakra is unique to each individual.
When the Crown Chakra is balanced we are living in harmony and unity with the entire universe, we are connected and living in peace being at one with the divine.
Visit Chakra Mindset to learn more about your energy centres.
Have a balanced day!
Love and Light,
'I don't like chocolate' said no one ever!
Seriously, even people who are unable to have chocolate for whatever reasons I doubt that they'd say the above words.
I am so blessed to be able to eat anything I like. In the time where allergies and intolerances send people's health askew, I'm really grateful for my health.
When I went to Mind Body Spirit festival, I was only too excited to find so much goodness! Especially happy foods & treats. Who doesn't like yummy things, particularly when they are made with love and other stuff that's good for the soul.
So, to you my Devine friend I say eat happy chocolate. It is the ultimate sensual self indulgent tool. When we eat it we seek pleasure, even if it's for the shortest time.
If you're a lover of this fabulous hedonistic product, why don't you include a healthier option in your next shopping basket?
...The Chocolate Yogi...
Go and eat these treats, they are simply amazing. Enjoy!
Love and Light
Every one of us has a dream. We all dream of a better situation, a desirable outcome, a higher role of employment, a better future for our loved ones, a bigger house, a shinier car, the list is endless - cumbersome even but the process to reach that dream could be simplified.
There are various steps that we could follow in order to reach our dreams or goals. I'm using a garden as a metaphor because while there are outside factors that could affect the appearance of a garden such as the changing seasons, this is not to say the health of the garden needs to be affected. Take for example, Botanical Gardens in your city. Have you ever seen that lush lawn yellow and patchy? Have you ever seen those beautiful flowers wilted? Those shrubs unpruned? My guess is you've answered no. To keep up the beauty and attractiveness of these gardens, I imagine a few people are employed, thus committed to making sure that the gardens remain visually pleasing at all times.
The Groundskeeper and her team of workers make sure that the plants are watered regularly. The lawn is trimmed, weeds are removed, trees are pruned, litter is removed and so on. Could you imagine if there was no one committed to the work? An area that was once created as Botanical Gardens will surely be there, however it may not exist as an aesthetically pleasing place that many use to get in touch with nature or as a serene place of sorts within the bustle of the city.
Let's go back to the matter at hand, your dream(s). When you have a wonderful goal to achieve and are excited by the potential outcome, there's a good chance that you would share ideas of how to achieve your goals with some people in your life. These could be your family members, colleagues, friends and so on. These people might even get excited with you - for you.
However, my Devine Friend, be aware of witting and unwitting 'dream killers'. As you work on your goal at a pace that suits you, those around you might get tired of hearing about 'this' dream that you are working towards. Your dream might take a few days, weeks or even years. To some you might sound like a broken record each time you make a small progress in your path. This is not to say you need to hide your excitement or process. Don't let the dream killers kill yours.
You need to persevere and have complete faith in your goal. I know this sounds easier said than done but it is possible.
One of the many ways to help you to remain focussed is to create a Faith Garden for your dreams. This is a place of retreat within the bustle that is life. Yours needs to be built on an unwavering trust that resides deep in your soul. Like the Botanical Gardens in your city, don't let the outside factors affect its health. Don't let those who put your ideas down drag you to a low point. Take charge, be the Groundskeeper whose commitment is to nurture from within. Water the plants of your soul regularly, get rid of the weeds, prune the trees and do your best to keep your Faith Garden healthy at all times.
Here are a few ways to help keep a Faith Garden for your dreams healthy:
1) Know your dream
Your dream is a precious seed that probably gets you out of bed every day. If people didn't dream, we wouldn't live in this wonderful and colourful world that we do. Do not be afraid to introduce yourself to your dream. Explore [it], know it's every corner. This simply means be pro active and research the avenue that you wish to delve into.
If your dream is to start a business, acquaint yourself with the tenants of the industry that you wish to enter. Make contact with those that you admire within your area of interest. Don't be afraid to cold call people and say, "Hello my name is ... I'm interested in what you do and I would like to learn more."
Plant your seed, nourish it and watch it bloom.
2) See your dream
We are a visual community. We're inundated with images all the time. So why not incorporate images into your Faith Garden? I am certain you've heard about the mighty 'vision board' before.
I'll be transparent here and say, I have tried for a long time to create one myself but I was never ready until I was ready. The reason for your vision board is to guide you back to the route towards many goals that lead to your ultimate dream and possibly your life purpose.
So go ahead, go crazy, dream big in pictures. And each time the dream killers attempt to distract, allow your vision board to fertilise the soil of the Faith Garden for your dreams.
"Dreams are the language of God ... But if He speaks in the language of the soul, only you could understand." Paulo Coelho
Communication is a dual action. It consists of talking and listening. In this regard, talking is expressed through prayer. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want through prayer. You might have been told in the past that your dream is unrealistic and that you should forget about it. But now is the time to create a safe place where you can rekindle that little light.
However, you need to be prepared for the second part of the communication process: Listening. This is in fact the most important and challenging.
Meditate. Sit in silence and listen. Be prepared to hear the answers you seek. The Universe is ready to give you all that you desire, but you need to be ready to receive.
Therefore, each time you feel a trickle of doubt enter your being, each time you feel afraid, ask for guidance from your nonphysical guides. Ask with a prayer and be prepared to listen for ways that will help you to remove the weeds. Be prepared to hear solutions that will keep your flowers from wilting.
May all that you dream of my Devine Friend become a reality served on a golden platter.
Love and Light
When I was a little girl I dreamt of being successful. To my naive young self, success was measured by fame. So naturally I wanted to be famous. I had no idea how I would attain this dream but you know what? The universe listens to every impulse that's released through our internal Intel. When you start to imagine or think of yourself in a situation (good or bad) the universe responds by sending messages your way. The catch is, unless you're ready to receive anything you envisage, you might miss it all together or even mistake it for someone else's fault (if its bad) or sheer luck (if its good).
The obvious fame that I had in my young mind was to be on TV. While I did not tell anyone about my dream, for some reason a friend in high school chose to share a newspaper ad for TV presenting classes with me. I became interested and every door of support that I knocked on, opened effortlessly.
After some time as expected, my dream came true. I was on TV, people recognised me and I got other perks of being 'famous' (whatever that means).
But the thing is, I had no idea of what I actually wanted in my life. Blame it on being young and reckless but I didn't know my life purpose.
I rubbed shoulders with some of the most talented, inspiring and funny people but I never asked the right questions. I failed to nurture positive connections. I allowed life to happen to me instead of living a full life. I was careless to contribute as people did things for me. Everything seemed so easy until I came across the most valuable lesson I'll ever learn from an unlikely source, death.
Death is an incredible teacher. It strips you naked of everything. What matters now may evaporate in an instant. My experience travelled from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a matter of heartbeat. Before I knew the joy of motherhood I found myself navigating the dark corners of grief. It would take several years for me to accept the impact of death. I lost a child. Along the way I met face to face with FEAR.
My truth may not be yours as your teacher might not be death. Yours may be a car accident, loss of job, breaking up with your partner, moving to a new country, new school and so on. But in my lesson I unwittingly found myself grappling with the monstrosity that is FEAR. Fear has a way of clutching at our core in an attempt to prevent us from living our full life. It creates a comfort zone beneath our skin; so close yet so far from our grasp. When allowed to reign, fear clouds our situations. It highlights that which is painful, that which we lack and makes every goal seems unattainable. In my experience of fear, I became incapable of dreaming, all doors seemed to close before me, I turned into a stranger to myself. In that askew existence, I took care to construct a façade that said, 'I'm okay,' but inside I was crumbling into pieces and no one but me knew this.
In her article, The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief, Julie Axelrod articulates Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ Five Stages of normal grief as proposed in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. It wasn’t until I came across these steps that I realised that my life stems from FEAR.
Here are the steps and how they affected me (I’m writing in brief terms):
• Denial and Isolation
Because I was fit and healthy at the time, my mind told me that this is not happening, it cannot be happening. Because my body was in a great shape to bear children. In my denial I began to dissociate with anything that reminded me of my pregnancy. Especially friends and places where there would be questions like, 'so where's your baby?'
When I began to come to terms with what transpired, I found myself beginning to blame – among other things – my body for betraying me and everyone else. I also blamed the medical practitioners for not realising what was happening inside my body.
The above steps were merged into one. During this time, I lived in a place infested with 'what ifs.' What if my bleeding was not internal, what if I asked my Doctor a different question? what if I listened to my body more intently?
In my private depression I stopped contacting people who knew about my loss. I started looking for new friends. I searched for employment in different industries. I could not wait to migrate to Australia – where I was enticed by the illusion of new beginnings. But as time progressed everything started to get heavier on the inside and I found myself in need of an outlet for my emotions.
Somehow along the way, I came across writing and I slowly allowed myself to say, ‘its okay to pursue something that I like,’ ‘its okay to feel sad sometimes,’ ‘its okay to not know what to do’ and most importantly ‘its okay to share my story’.
“Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone,” writes Julie Axelrod. I feel blessed to be able to say that I have accepted what has transpired. I am learning to live with my loss even though the pain still feels raw nearly eight years later.
In his book The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success, Deepak Chopra writes about the role of karma and dharma. He talks about the importance of finding “the seed of opportunity” and then “tie that seed with dharma – your purpose in life." I know that Val, Neo Utkovic (my silent son) has blessed me with a seed of opportunity. It is through mothering him that I now know what fear looks like. It (fear) is not a pretty sight but it is incredibly important that one looks it in the eye, acknowledges it and keeps going forward towards one’s dreams. Fear won’t simply move out of your way but it’s your prerogative to forge your way towards happiness and your dharma.
Beyond my acceptance stage, I know that something wonderful is happening inside me. I'm dreaming again. Only this time I know the route that leads towards my life purpose. I see all the messages that the universe is sending my way because I'm ready to receive.
This is a taste of my story. Yours might be different, but I hope mine gives you courage to begin seeing fear and how it’s holding you back from living a full life.
Beginning to combat FEAR, here are some suggestions:
1. Acknowledge your fear.
See your fear for what it is, an emotion that begins inside you. One that only you have the power to control.
Each time you set a goal, somehow along the way, does it seem unattainable? This could make you want to give up. Perhaps complain that 'it's too hard' or 'it's not for me' or 'I don't even know why I bother' and so on. Yours could be a short-term goal such as completing a daily TO DO list or a long term one like starting up a business.
Always remember that where fear reigns, failure is sure to settle in.
Perhaps next time when that sinking feeling begins to envelop you and you find yourself watching your goal slip out of your grasp, stop. Stop in your tracks and realise in that moment that fear is upon you. This is a good thing because as you travel along the path that leads towards your purpose in life, you have to learn to jump over the hurdles and the highest hurdle is fear.
Therefore by acknowledging the fear you have, you're accepting that this is not an easy undertaking but through determination you can forge through. You are human after all, so if it takes you a few times before you get over your hurdles, it's okay. The trick is to be persistent.
2. Own it. Take control of your fear.
Find out what triggers your fear.
While growing up, did someone tell you that you're stupid? That you'll never amount to anything? That you're fat? That you'll never have nice things?
I was made to believe that I can't write and for the longest of time I believed this so much that I was physically scared to write anything that encouraged my creativity.
You see, once an idea is set in an imaginary stone, it becomes very hard to see it any other way. I may not be a top selling author but I know that it is a tangible possibility because I know how to use the tools that will get me there. Plus I know how to construct a sentence (winks).
Others' view about my writing may not have changed but the important thing is, my view about my abilities has changed and this has helped me overcome my fear of writing.
Let's take an example; you grew up being the 'fat kid' in your family and your community. Then you move to a new city for work, study or to live. You meet new people who don't think you're fat, in fact some even pay you compliments for having a beautiful healthy figure. Your first reaction when someone says, 'those jeans look great on you' is scepticism. Right there is your trigger. Because history has taught you that you don't deserve a compliment and fear tells you that the person is probably lying to you or just being nice to the 'fat kid.'
What if you accepted the compliment? Wouldn't that make you feel good? And fear doesn't like good feelings so you're happiness will send it packing. Thus helping you get over the hurdle that prevents you from seeing your true beautiful figure.
No matter how big or small the situation, take control of your fear by deliberately doing the opposite of what you would normally do.
This is the energy you're sending to the universe and the universe is always listening and responds accordingly.
Be proud and high five yourself no matter how big or small the achievement. It's a milestone worth celebrating in your journey. If your goal is to complete at least five things on your TO DO list and you manage to accomplish that, smile and congratulate yourself. This will give you the courage to set an even higher goal. You might add two more things to tick off your list the next day and before you know it you'll be a pro at completing the tasks that bring happiness to your day.
If you suffer depression or know someone who does, follow the links below for help. There is much more help online beyond these links.
Love and Light
Dorcas Maphakela is a writer, visual artist and holistic well-being advocate, using art and words to share knowledge and inspiration on living a full life. She is also a TV presenter, public speaker and founder and producer of the Antenna Award-winning OZ AFRICAN TV (OATV). Alongside her role with Multicultural Arts Victoria, Dorcas co-founded Yo CiTY, a platform that champions the culturally diverse experience through Art & music. Dorcas is an Academic Screen Lecturer at the University of Melbourne. She studied Fine Arts and Master of Arts in Writing.